Insert Witty Bus Related Title Here
by eccentricity is a virtue
Summary: The Cullens go on a bus tour of Seattle; boredom, buses, bedlam.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello and welcome to our (I'm Edie, the other author's Anna, go to our profile for explanation) new story : Insert Witty Bus-Related Title Here.**

**We're sorry about the name, we couldn't come up with anything, if you have any ideas, please tell us!**

**Don't own anything!**

**Chapter 1**

**Bella's point of view**

"_Rose petal_ or _alarm red?_" Alice asked holding up two tubes of lipstick.

"Alice you really don't need lipstick, we're going on a bus tour of Seattle, not to a fashion show!" I had been making the same argument for two hours.

"Fine, I'll pick myself!" she pouted and chose alarm red. "I don't even see why we have to go..." she had been making _that_ argument (along with most of her siblings) for the past two days.

"I think if you get to do something for free, you should do it. Anyway there's no point in complaining, you knew this was going to happen days ago!"

"I was hoping something would change and Carlisle wouldn't win that stupid hospital staff raffle." she groaned as she checked her handbag for the seventh time.

"Alice! Bella!" Jasper called us with little to no enthusiasm then again, I couldn't blame him, in this hose today, signs of enthusiasm were impossible to find.

Alice and I walked down the stairs slowly, prolonging the time we could spend anywhere but a bus.

No one spoke. Edward took my hand and he looked at me as if to say _"Do we have to go?"_ I nodded

We all piled into the convertible and the volvo. I sat beside Edward in the back of the volvo-Emmett had insisted on driving-Edward kept his arm around me,-as he had when we were running from a crazed, sadistic vampire who was trying to kill me- as if to reassure me that everything would be okay. I couldn't understand what everyone was so scared of, it was just a bus tour!

But I was soon to find that it would be far worse than I could ever imagine.

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	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- Hi!! This is Anna!! I'd just like to dedicate this chapter to the real life Nick ,who, with his boring voice was the inspiration for this story.  
We love you Nick!**

**DISCLAIMER- I still don't own anything, but I'm plotting!**

**CHAPTER 2  
ALICE'S POINT OF VIEW**

"Hurry up Edwardo! We're going to miss the bus!" I yelled as we sprinted down the street (well, everyone except Bella sprinted, Bella stumbled)  
"DON'T CALL ME EDWARDO!" Edward roared just as everyone leapt onto the bus.  
The bus driver was a bored, grumpy looking college student called June.  
June looked unbelievable bored while taking everyone else's tickets and handing out cheap looking yellow plastic headphones, until she reached Jasper. I snarled angrily as she fluttered her eyelashes at MY Jasper and I eyed him up and down.  
"Looks like you've got competition Alice!" laughed Emmett while Bella,Edward and Rosalie doubled over laughing. Carlisle and Esme looked like they were trying not to laugh and Jasper looked amused!  
"How dare you?!" I said in mock horror  
Jasper who decided to play along whispered in my ear,  
"Please forgive me, I'll forever be your faithful servant!"  
"Oh all right then!" I laughed back  
Bella and Edward took the seats beside us with Rosalie and Emmett behind them and Carlisle and Esme in front.  
I placed my new hand bag leaning against the wall, I'd just bought it that day.  
As the bus jerked along we all plugged in our headphones to hear the tour.

The most boring, droning voice came from the headphones,  
"Hello my names Nick and I'll be your tour guide today..."  
Typical! How come there was always someone with the worlds most boring voice as he tour guide? Where did they find these people??

I casually flicked from the different languages as I looked around at everyone.  
Edward was gazing at Bella, (no surprise there), Emmett had managed to get tangled up in the cord of his headphones and had now taken to hitting them, Rosalie was looking at herself in a hand mirror, Jasper was looking worriedly down the stairs of the bus at the driver and Bella was the only one who was actually paying attention to the ever so exciting Nick on the ' interesting "History of Seattle". I sometimes forgot that Bella had only lived eighteen years compared to my family's hundreds - so she unlike us had not actually been there when this history had been happening. I hadn't been interested in a history lesson in years! Anyway, they always ended getting half of it wrong!

"This Building on our left hand side is where the famous writer..." Nick babbled on.  
Bella looked at me confused,  
"But to our left is a park!" she exclaimed "That's so idiotic!"  
I had to agree with Bella; Nick was an idiot, for not taking speech training classes to help him get rid of his droning voice.  
To think I was missing my favourite clothes shop's sale for this!!  
I sighed sadly as I thought of the little black dress I'd wanted to buy,  
Why did life hate me so?

_**REVIEW IF YOU WANT MORE OF NICK'S RAMBLINGS!!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi, it's Edie, hope you enjoy the next chapter! Most of what Nick says in this chapter is based on our actual French tour bus experience (except the bit about the concrete...)**

**We own nothing, although we are working on it...!**

**CHAPTER THREE  
Edward's point of view.**

I put the headphones in my pocket, I really didn't care about the construction of the Seattle Space Needle.  
"You're not listening?" Bella asked a little too loudly, she still had headphones in her ears.  
"No." I said after freeing one of her ears from the incredibly tedious wrath of Nick.  
"You know it all."  
I nodded and turned to look at the other bus tour patrons; the rest of my family, four excited Japanese tourists, two Irish girls of about thirteen singing something about witches, a very large man who was fast asleep and an exhausted looking mother with her hyperactive three year old son.  
"...And on your left you will see a residential area..." my super hero-esque hearing allowed me to hear (or, forced me to endure) Nick's constant droning, even without headphones. He didn't even make any sense, you could look in any direction and see a residential area!  
"...On your left you will see a tree planted by the famous musician..." Nick continued boring everyone into a coma.  
Who cares about a tree that was planted by a 'famous' musician?  
I turned to Alice, hoping for entertainment. She was staring into space and twiddling the strap of her handbag.  
"Alice?" I said quietly, she didn't reply. "Alice?!" I repeated, louder this time.  
"Yes?"  
"How are you?"  
"Emm...fine...why?" she looked at me with an expression varying between confusion and suspicion.  
"Just wanted to know..."  
"Why?" she had settled on suspicious.  
"I'm bored." I admitted a sigh.  
"So am I, you don't hear me complaining!"  
"Yes I do! I can hear your thoughts, remember?" I enunciated as if talking to a very small child. Or Emmett.  
"Oh." she spoke quietly, in embarrassment. I was quite proud; it took a lot to embarrass Alice.  
I chuckled and turned back into my seat.  
"Bella?" I didn't really want to interrupt her learning about the amazing history of Seattle, but I was just so bored.  
"Yeah?" she replied, again, a little to loud. I released an ear.  
"How are you?"  
"Fine." she wasn't quite as blunt as Alice and just tilted her head and looked at me questioningly.  
"Good."  
"Why do you ask?"  
"Just wondering..."  
"Oh."  
She turned away and the boredom recommenced.  
"...You may think that concrete is just concrete, but you would be mistaken! In sixteen twenty one, Lord and Lady of..."  
Nick was now talking about the origins of concrete in the seventeenth century. I didn't know if I could take much more of this; sitting on a bus, two teenage girls singing annoyingly, a toddler screaming, his mother on the verge of tears, Emmett arguing with inanimate objects, Nick droning on and on and on...  
"OWWW!!" I heard Emmett roar from behind me, I wonder what that was about...

**The next chapter will be up tomorrow or the next day (or the next day, or the day after that...).**

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